


Lost in Love and Jealousy

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Paranoia, love realizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Ed is jealous seeing Oswald spending so much of his time with Sofia Falcone, his paranoia getting the better about him when it comes to the nature of their friendship, but he doesn't understand why Oswald's relationships should matter this much to him in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

There was something about the woman that Ed didn’t like. 

Sofia laughed, Oswald smiled shyly, she placed a hand against his chest, and he didn’t tense or pull away. The touch was playful matching the look in her dark brown eyes that crinkled in the corners as she smiled brightly at him, the smile of a saint, or a demon posing as one.

Ed balled his hands into fists at his sides, jaw clenching as he watched them. Dislike was not the right way to put his feelings. No, he hated the woman.

Initially when Sofia Falcone had waltzed into Oswald’s office coming to offer truce, Ed had been certain that was the beginning and the end of it. He’d happily stood to the side saying little to nothing as he watched them, he felt then that she was up to something, but ever since being thawed out his brain didn’t process the way it had before, so he was left just considering her as bad. He kept that to himself though, Oswald still had his wits about himself, he could judge that she was just putting on an innocent act. 

The next thing Ed knew though…..She continued to live. She continued breathing and she continued to reside at the Falcone estate, Oswald would come home late from the Lounge, and talk about her. Sometimes he’d be ranting and raving, drink in hand as he went on about how ignorant she must think him to be, but other times he’d fondly smile and comment that she was as witty as Ed once was. 

He found with the passing weeks that he hated both things. He didn’t want Oswald to like her and he didn’t want Oswald to hate her, he felt this confusing pit of anxiety in his stomach spreading through his body like thorny vines, clutching at his heart and making his brain ache. He didn’t like Oswald speaking of him as if he were dead, as if he was juts another ghost haunting the mansion. The amount that it hurt him and frustrated him caught even himself off guard, the first time he’d found himself locked in the bathroom crying had scared him, he hadn’t understood why he was crying, but now he was starting to get an idea.

As he watched them the pain in his chest and head only grew, he forced himself to turn away and head back home, the last thing he needed was Oswald or Zsasz especially spotting him. If Oswald spotted him, he’d be angry and would have a million questions, if Zsasz saw him then he’d just begin making fun of him again. It was bad enough how often he teased and joked that Sofia was Oswald’s girlfriend, his stammering and blushing as he denied her being his girlfriend often left Ed feeling sick to his stomach.

That night Ed waited up for him, a habit he’d formed rather quickly. There was something about being alone that made him feel anxious, there was a looming fear that he was still encased in that block of ice placed on display for the citizens of Gotham to mock and laugh at like some sort of a caged animal. Initially he’d been enraged to find out what had happened, what Oswald had done with him, but now he couldn’t even fake anger or hurt at what happened. He had to even admit he might have deserved it for some of the things he’d done to him, considering the situation they were in now, he was beginning to understand where he was coming from.

He jumped up from the couch when he heard the door open, despite how over excited it made him appear he found himself rushing to the main hall to greet his one time friend. Instead he was greeted by Zsasz who initially looked confused before realizing just why Ed was in such a hurry.

“Where’s Oswald?”

Victor grinned as he looked at the disheveled man before him, he had to admit he sort of envied his boss having so many people suddenly attracted to him. 

“He’s at the Lounge. With Sofia. His leg was bothering him, she wanted to keep him company, so he sent me home early.” He spoke slowly, deliberately while studying Ed’s face noticing the twitch of his right eye and the way his shoulders tensed.

“A-and you left him, alone with her?”

“Well yeah, I’m not intruding when I’m not wanted.” He said as he left the room heading towards the kitchen.

Ed already knew he was going to raid their fridge then head off to his own home, a habit he had anytime Oswald wasn’t home. Before Zsasz could even make it to the kitchen Ed was out the door and in his own car headed towards the Lounge, there was a sick sort of anxiety building up inside him making him feel as if he might throw up. He hated the feeling, he hated himself for doing things that came across as desperate and insane. He suddenly remembered all the times at the GCPD, the times he’d wanted to ask Kristen out only to catch her in Tom’s arms or the arms of some other man he’d usually hear say horrible mean things about her later on with their friends. 

He pulled up to the curb, a new feeling settling over him as he parked the car. He carded his fingers back through his hair suddenly feeling like a jackass.

“What are you doing? Oswald isn’t doing anything with Sofia Falcone and even if he was…It’s none of your business, he doesn’t belong to you, he doesn’t….” He stopped himself, the words he wanted to speak catching in his throat.

He immediately exited the vehicle and ran into the building, heart hammering in his chest as he made his way into the main part of the building. Everything was fine. He was overreacting. Nothing was happening.

He stopped in his tracks, he could almost feel his heart stopping as he caught the sight before him. Oswald was sitting down where the old ice block display once stood, his head was turned to the side facing away from him. Kneeling before him was Sofia, the leg of his pants was rolled up, shoe and sock removed, and her hands lovingly caressing severely scarred skin. Ed felt completely frozen as he watched, listened to her softly singing as she continued touching his leg, he looked to Oswald and noticed he was crying, the sight filling him with a sense of anger.

“What’s going on?” He asked, his own voice startling him. He hadn’t planned on making his presence known, he’d nearly planned on running away like he used to do with Kristen.

Both parties looked in his direction, Oswald’s tear-filled eyes widening as he looked up at Ed. He opened his mouth to say something but could only manage attempts at words before falling silent again. Sofia simply smiled cheerfully, she got to her feet, straightening her skirt. He watched as Oswald hastily pulled the leg of his pants back down, watched the way his fingers shook as he pulled on his sock.

“I didn’t hear you come in, Ed was it?” She asked kindly as she approached him, seemingly ignoring Oswald who remained seated with his head bowed.

“Yes, I’m Ed. What were you doing?”

“Oh that, well his leg has been bothering him, so I was massaging it for him. He should really get that checked out, it could cause some serious issues to his health.” Her tone was light, caring as she placed a hand on Ed’s shoulder. He immediately tensed under her touch.

“Could I sp-speak with you outside perhaps?” 

She pulled back surprised before agreeing. As he lead her outside he didn’t know what he was doing, but it felt familiar. He felt a familiar fear and excitement filling him as they stepped out into the damp cold night air.

“What is it you want to talk to me abo-“

Her words were cut off as Ed grabbed her by the throat slamming her back up against the wall, he pressed close against her nearly towering over her as he dug his fingers in against soft skin. Her brown eyes widened in shock for just a second before a new look settling onto her face, red painted lips pulling into a tense smile.

“Well, you aren’t useless after all.” She whispered staring up at him.

He loosened his grip on her throat by a fraction, he reached into his pants pocket pulling out his switch blade holding it up to her face, pressing the blade against her cheek.

“Stay away from him.” He warned through gritted teeth.

“Or what?”

He pressed the blade more firmly cutting into her skin, he watched as droplets of blood ran down her cheek. There was a familiar thrill in holding a person’s life in his hands, he felt like himself again.

“I will carve your face off and mail it back to Carmine Falcone, whatever your intentions are with Oswald, I know they’re not good. If you harm him, you will die.”

“If I die then my father will have you shot dead.” 

He dragged the knife down leaving a line of red. “I don’t really care, it’s worth it if it means Oswald’s safe.”

“Ed?”

Both looked towards the direction of the voice to see Oswald standing there, eyes still puffy and bloodshot, he had a look about him that Ed hadn’t seen since his mother died. This sense of vulnerability that made his heart ache. Ed immediately released his hold on Sofia’s throat, he pocketed his knife as he stepped away from her. He expected her to immediately go into the victim act, he was impressed to watch as she wiped the blood from her cheek with her index finger then sucking her finger into her mouth. She smirked at Ed before making her way over to Oswald who still looked completely confused by what he’d just witnessed. She placed her hand on his shoulder, smiling sweetly at him.

“I’ll call you later.” 

With that she was gone. Ed wished he’d brought his gun, he could have shot her.

Once she was out of sight he felt his anxiety renewed. Oswald didn’t move or speak, he just stood there looking at him.

“I, I can explain-“ Ed started, he moved closer to him reaching out a hand, but stopping himself.

“Don’t, I…You don’t need to explain anything to me. Let’s just get home, we can talk there.”

He didn’t sense anger or resentment, he just seemed tired.


	2. Chapter 2

Even once home Oswald didn’t speak to him. Instead opting to pour a drink for himself and one for Ed, he lead him to the sofa by the fireplace where they sat and drank in silence. Oswald per usual downing his drink in seconds before refilling his glass. Ed watched him as he drank, he noted how his fingers still trembled just the slightest bit and tears still glinted in his eyes. He noticed a lot of things about him in that moment. He noticed his slim figure, the freckles that stood out so obviously against his flushed skin, the near mohawk way he wore his hair recently as if he were a teenager going through a rebellious punk phase. He noticed how well fitted his black dress shirt was, the leather straps around his biceps adding something to his appearance that left Ed blushing and glancing away.

“Tell me what happened.”

Ed looked at him, Oswald still wasn’t looking in his direction, he stared down into his glass instead.

“What?”

“Ed, I know you, I know all sides of you. Just humor me.”

He sighed, he took a pull from his own drink. “I, I was waiting up for you, and then Zsasz came here instead and said that you and Sofia were spending time alone together. I don’t know why I went to the Lounge, I really did consider just coming back home, but I had to make sure you were alright. Then when I saw the two of you…. When I saw-“ He stopped himself, he finished off his drink then poured himself another. “When I saw her touching you and saw you crying, I just lost it. Oswald, there’s something wrong with her. She’s using you, I don’t exactly know what she’s doing, but she doesn’t actually care about you.”

Oswald placed a hand on his knee, he looked over at him smiling softly.

“Ed, I know. I’ve known since the day she came into the Lounge declaring she wants nothing from me. Nobody says that unless they want something from you…. Yes of course it’s nice to feel like somebody cares about me, but I know she doesn’t and you know me. You should know me well enough to know I truly have no interest of the romantic sort towards her.”

He looked down at the hand on his knee, he realized how much he’d missed the simple touches and kind gestures. He closed his eyes letting out a heavy sigh as the realization fully settled in.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for, you didn’t do anything wrong. I should have communicated more openly with you, but with the way you’ve been ever since that crazy stalker fan of yours thawed you out I just haven’t included you like I should.”

He shook his head, “That’s not it. I-what you did. When you killed Isabella, that hurt a lot. I know it doesn’t matter to you, I know you won’t regret it or apologize for what happened, and I felt that what hurt me the most was that you killed her and I loved her.” He paused as he thought over past events, as he thought over their current state. “It hurt, because you lied to me. I was willing to die for you, anything you wanted I would have given you without even thinking about it, because I trusted you that much, but when you killed her and saw how much it hurt me and you lied to me about her death….it hurt.”

He sat his glass on the table opting to nervously fidget with his fingers instead. He knew what he was trying to say, what he was feeling as his heart hammered in his chest, but the words kept sticking in his throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you. I never intended to hurt you and I hated seeing you upset, I don’t like that I was the cause of your distress. I got jealous and I was scared of losing you, I was scared that she could make you far happier than I ever could….She could have given you any life you wanted, things I couldn’t do for you.”

Ed smiled sadly. He looked over at him noticing a gentle familiar look in his eyes as he looked back at him. “I suppose I have a better understanding now for how you felt.”

Oswald scooted closer to him on the sofa, Ed watched him closely curious about what he was doing.

“If I tell you that I love you, will you run away again?” He asked as he took hold of his hand.

Ed shook his head, “I-I won’t, promise. I thought you didn’t feel that way about me anymore.”

He smiled, “I didn’t want to love you, after the shit we put each other through, but what happened tonight. The way that you handled her, it reminded me of you, the Ed I know.” He spoke softly as he looked at him. There was this look of adoration on his face, a look of longing and love that Ed realized he’d missed like Hell.

Ed placed his free hand against his cheek, thumb brushing against tear stained skin, he smiled as Oswald leaned into his touch. He realized as he sat there with him that he felt differently, he felt the beginnings of himself becoming complete again. He recalled the night Butch had attacked him, sitting in this same spot with Oswald so long ago, the opportunity they’d both had and wasted out of doubt and fear.

He didn’t want to waste it this time.

He leaned in closer until his lips were nearly touching his, Oswald’s eyes closed as he closed the minimal distance between them pressing his lips against his in a gentle kiss. Ed moved his hand to the back of his head, fingers curling in his hair as he kept him close as they kissed, he could feel Oswald’s hand moving up his leg, and each touch felt like electricity bringing life back into his form. For the first time in a month he felt alive. As the kiss ended they stared at each other, pupils blown and lips parted.

“I love you, Oswald.”

This time the words didn’t catch and die in his throat.


End file.
